Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Do it for them


I have always centered my entire world around these babies, my Seven Super Summers.  Since the moment I discovered my beautiful Molly would be coming to my world I shifted my priorities, happily.  They are my everything.  Every gray hair comes from them, every sleepless night, every stomach ache, all the worry lines, from these little monkeys I gladly accept.  But with all those things, things the world would consider negatives has come such joy!  They give me a purpose in life, a goal to reach, a reason to carry on.  They are my children, entrusted to me by a loving Father in Heaven to care, love, nurture and raise righteously. 

Five years ago when Duane passed away, I could have easily curled up and shriveled away from the world.  I had lost the love of my life to colon cancer, an ugly and unwanted word in our home.  My children, my Seven Super Summers, my little saviors, they saved me everyday.  They gave me hope and a reason to hold on, keep going and keep my chin up.  Sometimes I would fail, I'm only human, sometimes the grief would consume me but it wouldn't take long before I pulled myself back into a peaceful spot.  They always pulled me back.

So tonight I write this entry, alone in my bed, contemplating the new task that I have been given, a fight I have to fight.... I have colon cancer.  I have the unwanted word, I have the horrid disease that took my husband from me that November day in 2008.  I am human, I have at several points today been on the brink of utter despair.  Cried the ugly cry, thought the why, thought the what are the odds, given in to the negativity yet there was always something pulling me back to center, my Molly and Ben, Katie and Mr. Jack, sweet Grace and my littles, Hannah and Emma.  They are my gravity, my life, my reason to fight and fight with every blasted breath in my body.  Tonight, I Do It For Them!! 

10 comments:

Wendi said...

Becky, I hope you always know that you are not fighting this fight alone. Do know you will always be in my prayers and thoughts. I will be sending happy, fighting thoughts your way. I wish we lived closer. Love, the entire Morales clan

Katrina said...

Crazy life! And much love and thoughts and prayers to you, Becky! I just recently posted about finding out I have MS--just like my sister who passed away at age 33 from it. I can't believe it.
And I can't believe it for you either.
I do feel that maybe the Lord is telling me to fight--as a family, we never did much more to fight for the cause of MS.
You can fight this, and I know you will. I just think you are an amazing woman! I take comfort knowing the Lord will not give us more than we can bear and that our trials are for our learning and growing.

Alison said...

I'll be praying my heart out for your family. Also, check this out - a friend of mine posted it yesterday and it seemed like such perfect timing. <3

http://www.mesothelioma.com/heather/

Sally said...

I love you Becky!!! You are an amazing woman and mother to those fantastic kids of yours! Thank you so much for coming over to see me last month when I was in town! We are praying for you!

Amy said...

I'm so sorry! My family will be praying for yours. Bless you and your sweet children.

Jenny said...

Becky, I am amazed at your strength and I am saddened by your news. I will pray for you and your family. Thank you for putting yourself out there because I believe there is strength in numbers. You're such an amazing woman who will have so many rallying around you. If I could hug you right now, I would! XO

Kim Cawley said...

Becky, I want you to know my thoughts and prayers will be will you and your dear family! Love you guys!

Rachel said...

Becky, you are a strong, beautiful, and amazing woman and mother and the Lord loves you. WE LOVE YOU! Please know that you are all in our prayers and in our hearts.

Marrdy said...

Becky, it's been a while since I stopped by. I am so sorry that you have another seemingly insurmountable mountain to climb. I am keeping you and your sweet family in my prayers. I still remember going to the Draper Temple and thinking of you and Duane way back when. Every time I see the temple on the hill I still think of you. I know Heavenly Father loves you and He will be with you during this journey. Even when it feels like He's no where around. Sending you my love!

عبده العمراوى said...

شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالدمام

Each day to live....

Finding the little things in the day that make me smile.



Duane's last Dance

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