Do it for them

I have always centered my entire world around these babies, my Seven Super Summers.  Since the moment I discovered my beautiful Molly would be coming to my world I shifted my priorities, happily.  They are my everything.  Every gray hair comes from them, every sleepless night, every stomach ache, all the worry lines, from these little monkeys I gladly accept.  But with all those things, things the world would consider negatives has come such joy!  They give me a purpose in life, a goal to reach, a reason to carry on.  They are my children, entrusted to me by a loving Father in Heaven to care, love, nurture and raise righteously. 

Five years ago when Duane passed away, I could have easily curled up and shriveled away from the world.  I had lost the love of my life to colon cancer, an ugly and unwanted word in our home.  My children, my Seven Super Summers, my little saviors, they saved me everyday.  They gave me hope and a reason to hold on, keep going and keep my chin up.  Sometimes I would fail, I'm only human, sometimes the grief would consume me but it wouldn't take long before I pulled myself back into a peaceful spot.  They always pulled me back.

So tonight I write this entry, alone in my bed, contemplating the new task that I have been given, a fight I have to fight.... I have colon cancer.  I have the unwanted word, I have the horrid disease that took my husband from me that November day in 2008.  I am human, I have at several points today been on the brink of utter despair.  Cried the ugly cry, thought the why, thought the what are the odds, given in to the negativity yet there was always something pulling me back to center, my Molly and Ben, Katie and Mr. Jack, sweet Grace and my littles, Hannah and Emma.  They are my gravity, my life, my reason to fight and fight with every blasted breath in my body.  Tonight, I Do It For Them!!