Wednesday, September 30, 2009


I think we've all done it. As kids, I think we've all enjoyed it. But nothing could compare from my childhood or be sweeter to me than that ding dong ditch I received this morning. That sweet sound of the doorbell ringing, opening the front door and finding a beautiful bouquet of fall flowers. Thank you dear secret friend for bringing a smile to my face and happy tears to my eyes.
I can't express in words adequately how tough this past month has been. The anticipation of marking off the calendar one year since Duane's passing. But really the one year calendar dates won't start on November 10, they've started already. It was late August at the parent back to school night when we first noticed the jaundice in his eyes. Mid September when we discovered the cancer had come back and chemo would start all over again. The beginning of October when he finally decided that he just couldn't work anymore and took a months leave of absence, not knowing that would be the wisest thing he would ever do. To spend that last month none stop with Duane was such a sweet blessing to me and especially the young babies, Emma and Hannah.

When Duane passed I assumed that one year was a long time. Foolish girl. It's just a drop in the bucket. My heart still aches, hurts and will do so for a long time. When my eternal glasses break it's so hard to see past the temporal separation that Duane and I are enduring. And yes, I do believe that even though my sweetheart is happy, pain free and in a peaceful place that he feels the separation just as I do. You don't loose that love, it never fades, if anything it just grows and evolves.

Thank you my doorbell friend for readjusting my eternal glasses, setting them straight, and putting me once again back on the straight path. It's a long hard journey ahead. I need those little kicks in the rear especially when they're in flower form.

Friday, September 11, 2009

A 2-year olds torture device and a little chocolate on the side

Many many moons ago when I was first blessed with becoming a mother I knew of some classic toys that must be a must in my children's toy box. Toys like pop beads, the "corn popper" push toy, the pull telephone and the shape sorter. Do you remember the Tupperware shape sorter? Did your memory fail you too? My memory should be fired for the lack of devotion to it's employer. How could I have forgotten 6 previous children's suffering from this harmless looking toy? Fortunately or unfortunately for Emma, she will be the last of the Summers children to receive torture from the shape sorter. Such a harmless looking toy, educational, bright and really fun to shake the shapes out. But it's putting the shapes back in where the frustration begins for my little 2 year old. As my sweet, calm, level headed toddler begins her first embark on the shape sorter, giggles and grins are quickly replaced with "oh man!", "help me, help me!", and "I tant do it". The phrases coming from that child were hysterical, just the humor I needed today. She on the other hand did not find the humor in it, but someday she too will forget, purchase one for her toddler and then threaten to fire her memory for it's lack of devotion!

Because today is Friday, because I haven't blog in a very, very, very long time because I've had zucchini in abundance, I'm including a Chocoholics Anonymous recipe. This is one of my favorite summertime chocolate recipes simply because is uses a vegetable that any summer garden probably has growing out the wazoo! It's such a moist, chocolaty cake that is one of my families requested favorites. I have to give a big thanks to my dear friend Heidi for sharing this recipe with me.

Chocolate Zucchini Cake

1 1/2 c sugar
1 c butter
1 t vanilla
2 eggs
2 1/2 c flour
1/2 sour cream
1/4 c cocoa
1 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
2 c shredded zucchini
1 c chocolate chips
1 c chopped nuts, optional

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream together the butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla and beat 3 minutes until fluffy. Add sour cream and mix until combined, then add flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt and mix again until just combined. Fold in zucchini, chocolate chips and nuts. This is a stiff batter. Spread the batter into a 9 x 13 pan and bake for about 30 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Frost with your favorite chocolate icing. Yummy delicious!

Two little zucchini plants produced so much zucchini my kids thought they were about to die of zucchini poisoning. I was in heaven on the other hand, all ready to plant more next year just so I can make and eat another fresh from my garden
Chocolate Zucchini Cake!

Friday, September 4, 2009

I blame it all on......

Hopefully I can get my creative juices flowing soon because that part of my brain has been harshly deprived. Thanks Farmtown, Bouncing Balls and of course I don't want to forget Spinning Bubbles. Don't know what I'm taking about, "Join me on Facebook", well only if you want to be sucked into the pit of despair. :)

Each day to live....

Finding the little things in the day that make me smile.

Duane's last Dance

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