A few days ago I was scanning through my saved text messages trying to delete old ones and make room for new ones. I remember doing this shortly after Duane had passed away but making sure to lock any messages that might have been from him. I needed to hold on to any words that he may have spoken to me texts, written or taped. As I entered into 2008 text's, horrible that I have that many I know, I became aware that I was entering into the possible last text communications between Duane and I. Amazing how things just seemed to turn out, not a coincidence I'm sure. The last text Duane sent me said simply..."Take your time"..
"Take your time".
.
I was probably shopping or out to lunch with Jessie or who knows what, but now it has gained such different meaning. One of my favorite songs is from Brad Paisley "Waitin' on a Woman", you must watch the video to truly appreciate the song, but here are part of the lyrics that make be boo hoo every time I listen:
"I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a Woman
Honey, take your time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman."
He knew me so well.
One year has passed today since our separation began, seven little babies separated from a wonderful father, a wife separated from her dear husband, parents separated from a loving son. We all ache for his laugh, touch, humor, sincerity, knowledge and little bit of the man that we loved. Duane knew we would need little reminders now and then. So I will read that final text and take my time, enjoy life, cry, laugh, and eventually meet him at that bench where he waits for us, for me. I'll take my time, 'cause he won't mind waintin' on his woman.I love you Duane.
18 comments:
Becky,
It has been so long since I have visited many blogs. I am sorry for being a slacker with my dear blogging friend.
Loved this post. I always save a voice mail from my hubby. He is not a texter. Hugs, Bobbi Jo
Becky- I am in tears! This is just what I needed to read today. A reminder to me to always keep an eternal perspective and to keep going-endure. What a sweet message. Thank you. Love ya!
Wow, Becky. What a great message and awesome timing for you to find that text. I knew a year was coming up and been thinking about you! (I remember because my birthday is in a few days.) What a wonderful song. You amaze and inspire me!
Oh my gosh, I just watched the video--that is awesome! Love how he was getting ready and all in white! Thanks for sharing that.
Thinking of you today, girl. It never ceases to amaze me how Duane continues to reach through the veil to you when you need it most.
I can't believe it has already been a year, does not seem like that long ago. I hope that you continue to find little messages from Duane and that they continue through the years to bring you joy and a smile to your face. I love that song "Waiting on a Woman" and I know Duane is waiting on you - Becky he LOVED (LOVES) YOU so much. Good to see you back on the blog - I check in at least once a week just to see what might be going on with you and your monkeys :-)
What a beautiful post! And that picture on the tracks...oh my GOSH. Amazing. My heart goes out to you and your family.
I'm speechless Becky. Something not usual for me. Just know that I keep an eye on you from miles and miles away and am amazed by your strength, your love, your faith. If I could only be half the woman you are.
Duane is keeping that bench warm for you. He may have to re-stain it a few times before you get there and that's OK!! Take your time here because you are an inspiration and strength to so many here.
Love, Nicole Carpenter
All I can say through my tears that keep comming is that I love you all and Duane continues to teach us what this life is truly about.
Wow! He really knows what you need and when you need it! A very touching post...and thanks for helping us all to remember the eternal perspective on life!
Oh sweet Becky,
What a wonderful memory to have. I hear in his voice a "human" who could get angry, but who also tempered it all with laughter.
Love you so much and think of you often
Life is how we live it and you do it so well.
I LOVE the pictures of you & your kids "moving forward" on the railroad tracks. That's awesome!
Sometimes I really hate technology, but sometimes it can be the greates gift in the world.
Seriously, texts from 2008!
Oh I love that song and I love that picture of the kids!! Hope you have a good Thanksgiving!
Nancy B. here...Thanks Becky.
Becky,
I don't know you and I just ran across your blog. I am in tears. What a wonderful blog. I hope you don't mind I commented.
Becky, you do not know me, it is weird to be on someone's blog you don't know. I am a prospective hobby farmer and plan to run a business as soon as I am out of the army. I am browsing sites to fing people that have farm knowledge to add stories to my blog. As I sit in my CHU in Iraq thinking about my husband and kids on mothers day I came across your blog about the passing of your husband and the last text and how it fits perfectly with the song...there is no doubt in my mind that your husband is missing you and loves you ever more each day. Being in Iraq away from my kids and husband and I feel almost the same. I know you will be with your husband again one day, and your family will all be in heaven someday. I am so greatful to have read your message today, it has touched my heart. Thank you for sharing...and sorry for reading something personal to if you did not wish to share it. God Bless you and your family.
Sincerely
Pauline Johnson
Feel free to see who I am, lol...
My blog is a little bit of a mess as I clean up some old emails myself.
http://jakepaulinefamily.blogspot.com
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