Things that make you go EWWWWW!

For years my friend Jessie and I have frequented many a McDonald's, definitely not for the food, but for the kids to have playtime and "McTherapy" as we've begun to call it. Her little monkeys are all in school now and it pretty much is a Hannah and Emma playtime while I chit chat with my best friend. So many memories. Poopy diapers, accidents, salt in strangers cups(good one Molly!), ball pits, slides, and lots of laughter. But yesterday topped them all, 14 years of going to McD's and Emma has left her mark(she has to compete fiercely, she has 6 other siblings to beat)!

At one point during our lunch I noticed the absence of my petite 21 month old Emma. Jessie and I began to glance around the possible hiding places. The horrifying thought crept into my mind, THE BATHROOM! Now the terror in my brain was only for the trapped little babe and her fear because she could not get out. "How long had she been in there?" I thought as I opened the closed door to the playrooms bathroom. Of course those fears quickly left as I glanced down at my naked child playing in the toilet, the TOILET! For the love of Pete! What kind of mother lets her toddler play in a public bathrooms toilet, Naked?(keep those comments to yourself) She was happily splashing, swirling tp around, and proud of the fact that she had thrown her diaper in the trash and had gone potty on the floor. Aah sanitary! Of course I did what any level headed mother would do and.....

took a picture!

The vile thoughts that raced through my mind could not be scrubbed like her sweet little arms were, thoroughly scrubbed, like a surgeons. I can only hope that the toilet had been cleaned recently, like 5 minutes before she decided to pretend play Polly the Plumber.

I'm just racking up those "World's Worst Mother" awards, don't even try to beat me, I'm an unstoppable force!

Am I off my rocker? You don't have to answer that!

This morning I was just saying to my mom how much I have missed blogging. The ease and fun has not come as easily as of late. The joyful moments in my life have been slipping away because of my inability to think, type, and just find humor. Don't take this the wrong way, I have been laughing, but tears have been more prevalent.

Last night I listened to Hannah have a conversation with the wind, laughter felt good, smiling was nice. So when I read this quote by Marjorie Pay Hinckley I knew it wasn't a coincidence that I read it today.

"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."

I've had a headache a lot lately. The wheels started to turn and smoke started to billow from my brain, crying cannot take up the majority of my emotions, I need to laugh more, need to have more fun with my monkeys. My Ben tried to convince me yesterday that we needed a marshmallow gun. Yesterday I wasn't to convinced. Today, well today I think I need to make an investment in my mental well being and buy a few of these bad boys. Want to play?

My moods are giving me whiplash! Thanks Hannah

For the past few weeks I've been bothered by this irritating crick in my neck. One might guess it's because of poor sleeping habits, or an improper positioning of my neck on my pillow. But after a deep examining of the past weeks events I've diagnosed it with whiplash from erratic moods complicated by a three year old.

First erratic mood situation. I come home from a fabulous date with my Jack, doughnuts and hot chocolate. Just a great time talking, listening, and of course eating yummy doughnut goodness. I come home to happy calls, "Mommy!", give my offering of doughnuts, hear praises of delight. Happy times, happy times! After a few minutes we notice the absence of one loud wild woman, Hannah. Katie comes running into the living room, "Mom, Hannah looks dead! She curled up with a blanket in the bathroom." WHIP! Emotional snap back, of course this mom automatically thinks the worst running to the bathroom, but then WHIP! quickly snaps back as the laughter follows the realization that she had just fallen asleep naked in the bathroom.
Next aid to my condition. My very first blanket project, a minky monkey quilt for my little monkey nephew Zackary Duane. Ohhh, how much fun I had(with the help of my friend Joni) learning how to sew my first quilt. The domestic juices were just flowing, a new love was developed, a calming activity found. A blanket was created that my sister loved and nephew looks adorable wrapped up in, but.......

WHIP! Another emotional snap. The very next day, last Sunday, Hannah decided that a wasabi almond was not suitable for her mouth, but better placed in her right ear. And of course I being the determined mother decided that I could retrieve the stuck nut, WRONG! My mood turned gloomy as we watched that nut slip farther and farther back into her ear canal and eventually gone because it had slipped so far back. *Note to self, that's why a doctor spends so many years in school, to save mothers and three year olds the heartache and pain of trying to retrieve stuck nuts. After several doctors and few unsuccessful tries Hannah ended up having an outpatient surgery to remove the wasabi almond. A nut head no longer.

The next day, presumably still under the influence, Hannah made a major decision, you know the ones advised not to make when coming out of anesthetics, she cut her hair! WHIP! After the euphoria of an almond free child, Hannah plunged us once again into a pit of despair. How on earth could we possibly fix the Billie Ray Cyrus doo she had created. Learning a valuable lesson just a few days before, I decided to call on a professional to fix the mullet madness.

And voila! An adorable child once again, thanks Genelle.

It's much shorter, a little more high maintenance, but sooo much better than the chop job I would have done. Hannah has learned much these past few weeks. Nuts only go in the mouth, hair is only cut by professionals and if mom comes at you with a pair of tweezers, RUN!!!!!

I decided that my neck needed to have a break, no more whipping back and forth between emotions. I would like to concentrate on one emotion at a time, and preferable in longer intervals. But after much crying on the shoulder of my mom, talking late at night, and a few great talks heard from some very wise and loving leaders of our church, I've decided that this too shall pass. It's hard right now, I relied so much on my Duane to get me through all these whiplash moments, but I have been asked to do it differently now, and I will. I will find a better way to muddle through life's roller coaster ride, without the whiplash. My neck needs a break!